Let's Play Ketchup (Catch Up)

I've decided to make some life changes.  I've been 29 for almost two months and it hit me. I need to get myself together FOR REAL.  It's time out for trying to fit in just for the sake of fitting in.  It's time for me to live the kind of life I want to live ... apologetically. 

 

I need to figure out: What makes me happy? What to do genuinely love doing?  What motivates me?  What is my passion?  What are my strengths?  What are my dealbreakers? What is are my weak areas?  How can I strengthen them?  What are my goals? 

 

Life is a gift and we only get one chance at it.  Nobody knows how much time they have. I don't want to look back and have a life full of regrets and missed opportunities. 

 

There some changes coming. 

 

I'm excited about them.

The Pity Party Is OVER

Some time has passed since I wrote my last post and I went back and forth with the notion of taking it down, but I want to be as real on here (my journal) as possible and all days aren't GOOD days. Some days I get down right depressed and unhappy with where I am in life. 

But the truth of the matter is that I'm blessed to be alive, and everyday that I am living is a chance for me to change my situation, to be who I want to be, and do what I want to do.

 

Sometimes it doesn't feel that way though.  I'm thankful for GOD putting people in my path to remind me that life is a journey.  There will be valleys along the way, BUT there will also be mountains.  Most often times, the mountains will be directly after being in a valley.  That is why it will seem so hard to move up.  The path down is easy.  There is nothing opposing you.  The travel upward will be much harder.  The gravity will fight you with every step.  In the end, you will be stronger and more grateful because of the effort and time that was put forth.  The reward will be greater.

 

Nothing worth having is easy or comes overnight.  Things will change.  Better days are ahead for me and for you.

The Struggle Is Real

So ... It has been awhile again.  Honestly, I have no excuses for why I've been away this time other than I have just been BUSY.  Work has been taking up so much of my time that it seems as if I don't do anything but work.  I wish I had more of a life.  I wish was actually LIVING instead of merely being on earth taking up space.  Living is hard when you have responsibilities.  Before bills rolled into the equation, life was beautiful.

Lately I've struggling to find BALANCE. To find PEACE.  To have JOY and true happiness. Those things are important to ones quality of life though.  Those are the things that I am missing.

How do you go about regaining those things? How do you "Get to the happy"? 

I have goals and dreams. I have an idea of what I want out of life, but I don't have the first clue of how to go about making it happen.  I don't know how to live the life I want to live.  I just don't.  Maybe it is the fear of going out and striving for something and failing.  I know in my mind that failure is a part of life. I know that it makes you stronger and wiser. I know that failure isn't defeat, but simply a way of revealing to you where weaknesses in your plans are, BUT failure can also be disheartening.

This year, however, I am challenging myself to go for broke. I'm going to just step out there and see what happens. The what ifs and the shoulda, coulda, wouldas will not get the best of me any more.  I want more out of life. I want more for myself.  I think I might even surprise myself. 

We'll see ...