The Struggle Is Real

So ... It has been awhile again.  Honestly, I have no excuses for why I've been away this time other than I have just been BUSY.  Work has been taking up so much of my time that it seems as if I don't do anything but work.  I wish I had more of a life.  I wish was actually LIVING instead of merely being on earth taking up space.  Living is hard when you have responsibilities.  Before bills rolled into the equation, life was beautiful.

Lately I've struggling to find BALANCE. To find PEACE.  To have JOY and true happiness. Those things are important to ones quality of life though.  Those are the things that I am missing.

How do you go about regaining those things? How do you "Get to the happy"? 

I have goals and dreams. I have an idea of what I want out of life, but I don't have the first clue of how to go about making it happen.  I don't know how to live the life I want to live.  I just don't.  Maybe it is the fear of going out and striving for something and failing.  I know in my mind that failure is a part of life. I know that it makes you stronger and wiser. I know that failure isn't defeat, but simply a way of revealing to you where weaknesses in your plans are, BUT failure can also be disheartening.

This year, however, I am challenging myself to go for broke. I'm going to just step out there and see what happens. The what ifs and the shoulda, coulda, wouldas will not get the best of me any more.  I want more out of life. I want more for myself.  I think I might even surprise myself. 

We'll see ...